Whether you call it a ‘review,’ a ‘heart-to-heart,’ or a ‘relationship reflection,’ this kind of give-and-take, especially when it is not only offered but also sought, can only improve the relationship in the long term. Great article, Phil!
Thanks, Leo! I like all your alternative names and agree that by any name, having open and honest convos with each other can only help improve relationships we care about.
Thanks — your feedback was really helpful especially for fleshing out the fear/risk of making the ask. Now, when are you planning to do your own 'review'? :D
I’m glad you enjoyed it. And good luck if you decide to try something—even if it’s small and imperfect, I’m sure your parents would appreciate any effort made to improve your relationship with each other :)
I found myself crying as I read this. For your thoughtfulness. And caring. For all the times our intentions do not get verbalized, yet dictate the way we behave.
I noticed this recently as I recap a family journey we did 20 years ago. I'm blogging it daily with my children, along with the backstory, the planning, the intention. It was a round-the-world trip to 16 countries (this week we we're revisiting climbing the Annapurna range in Nepal). "I've never stopped to understand how much you had to plan, and how far in advance," was what my then 4-yr-old said to me after reading the blog.
I'll send this to my children (don't know if I will enjoy the process, but I hope i enjoy the results!) You are one lucky guy to have this special mother!
I’m glad your kids were able to appreciate you more fully in this way. Thanks for sharing :)
And I’m happy this piece meant something to you and if you end up doing something similar with your family, please let me know how it goes. I think even just asking for better connection goes along way on its own.
Thanks for sharing. I'm grateful I learned the skills and had the courage to try while my parents are still around. If you're thinking about this with your brother I'd just say that attempting to repair and improve connections with immediate family is always hard. If you can accept that things may not go perfectly, and focus on setting the right intentions between each other (to bring you closer), that might make it easier to at least start even if you don't get it right at first. If you do try, I wish you the best of luck! :)
So nice to read the final version, and also such a fascinating idea that I've yet to carry out with my mom. In any case, your concepts and ideas regarding social health always stay with me, keep them coming!
Whether you call it a ‘review,’ a ‘heart-to-heart,’ or a ‘relationship reflection,’ this kind of give-and-take, especially when it is not only offered but also sought, can only improve the relationship in the long term. Great article, Phil!
Thanks, Leo! I like all your alternative names and agree that by any name, having open and honest convos with each other can only help improve relationships we care about.
Love how this piece turned out and how actionable it is. Especially with the framework and your story :)
Thanks — your feedback was really helpful especially for fleshing out the fear/risk of making the ask. Now, when are you planning to do your own 'review'? :D
Thanks for sharing this Phil. Some great ideas I might try to apply with my parents.
I’m glad you enjoyed it. And good luck if you decide to try something—even if it’s small and imperfect, I’m sure your parents would appreciate any effort made to improve your relationship with each other :)
I found myself crying as I read this. For your thoughtfulness. And caring. For all the times our intentions do not get verbalized, yet dictate the way we behave.
I noticed this recently as I recap a family journey we did 20 years ago. I'm blogging it daily with my children, along with the backstory, the planning, the intention. It was a round-the-world trip to 16 countries (this week we we're revisiting climbing the Annapurna range in Nepal). "I've never stopped to understand how much you had to plan, and how far in advance," was what my then 4-yr-old said to me after reading the blog.
I'll send this to my children (don't know if I will enjoy the process, but I hope i enjoy the results!) You are one lucky guy to have this special mother!
I’m glad your kids were able to appreciate you more fully in this way. Thanks for sharing :)
And I’m happy this piece meant something to you and if you end up doing something similar with your family, please let me know how it goes. I think even just asking for better connection goes along way on its own.
And yes, I’m very lucky!
“How often do we misjudge each other for behavior that is, at its core, well-intentioned?” This really resonated with me, Phil.
I enjoyed your piece. The fact your mother felt able to agree to the process shows how much she loves you and how strong your relationship is.
I’m glad it resonated, Simon. And yes—I’m very grateful to her.
Wonderful piece Phil, wish my parents were still around so I could try it. Maybe I could attempt this with my brother… ☺️
Thanks for sharing. I'm grateful I learned the skills and had the courage to try while my parents are still around. If you're thinking about this with your brother I'd just say that attempting to repair and improve connections with immediate family is always hard. If you can accept that things may not go perfectly, and focus on setting the right intentions between each other (to bring you closer), that might make it easier to at least start even if you don't get it right at first. If you do try, I wish you the best of luck! :)
Love to see this one out in the world! There is something in here for everyone to ponder :)
Thanks for your help!
So nice to read the final version, and also such a fascinating idea that I've yet to carry out with my mom. In any case, your concepts and ideas regarding social health always stay with me, keep them coming!