I would love to hear more about how your path to writing and publishing plays into this relationship fitness idea. I see, loud and clear, how the listening and play back thing works. But now you have also decided to take the risk of starting conversations that matter rather than just practicing the skill of reflecting them. That's a big step and seems to be just as fundamentally important to relationship fitness as the listening part. Either way, relationship fitness requires courage it seems. I'm inspired by the step you've taken with this publication and I'm looking forward to more.
Phil, I saw your post in Circle tonight. Thank you for drawing our attention to it. It was an excellent essay. Beautifully writing, insightful, and thought provoking. If we all practiced more listening and less broadcasting, we might indeed get on the path to healing as a world, through, as you point out, deepening relationships.
Thank you for helping me see this.
And finally, this really resonated with me: “I heard hints of pain, ego, maybe anger. I got curious about what was happening. I took a risk and asked. And I listened.”
Thank you for sharing this with me. While I didn't say it as explicitly, I agree that the world (especially right now) could do with less broadcasting and more listening. Love how you phrased this.
Lovely mix of personal and observational, Phil. This came out well! I loved this part:
"All around me, I see so many people focusing their attention on optimizing how they exercise, their nutrition, getting enough sleep, calculating the next career move, learning to grow their investments, but none of this matters if you aren’t paying attention to the quality of your relationships."
Such an important post. Thank you for sharing. As much as I embrace AI for what it can do, the human part of cognition (embodied) is something that we must step up to.
Thanks Justin! AI can be a helpful thought partner even for social things. Lately I like talking to ChatGPT as a coach — including to think through how to approach hard convos with real people.
I would love to hear more about how your path to writing and publishing plays into this relationship fitness idea. I see, loud and clear, how the listening and play back thing works. But now you have also decided to take the risk of starting conversations that matter rather than just practicing the skill of reflecting them. That's a big step and seems to be just as fundamentally important to relationship fitness as the listening part. Either way, relationship fitness requires courage it seems. I'm inspired by the step you've taken with this publication and I'm looking forward to more.
I have a draft written and hopefully ready to share soon on exactly this — starting conversations that matter.
And I think for now the path of writing and publishing is mostly doing two things (I hope):
1) connecting me with people with whom these ideas resonate
2) helping me sharpen and clarify my own thinking on concepts, so I can better communicate and share them.
100% Phil
Phil, I saw your post in Circle tonight. Thank you for drawing our attention to it. It was an excellent essay. Beautifully writing, insightful, and thought provoking. If we all practiced more listening and less broadcasting, we might indeed get on the path to healing as a world, through, as you point out, deepening relationships.
Thank you for helping me see this.
And finally, this really resonated with me: “I heard hints of pain, ego, maybe anger. I got curious about what was happening. I took a risk and asked. And I listened.”
I hear you.
👏👏 Bravo.
Thank you for sharing this with me. While I didn't say it as explicitly, I agree that the world (especially right now) could do with less broadcasting and more listening. Love how you phrased this.
Lovely mix of personal and observational, Phil. This came out well! I loved this part:
"All around me, I see so many people focusing their attention on optimizing how they exercise, their nutrition, getting enough sleep, calculating the next career move, learning to grow their investments, but none of this matters if you aren’t paying attention to the quality of your relationships."
Thanks! Your feedback along the way has been invaluable to get to this first published piece.
Such an important post. Thank you for sharing. As much as I embrace AI for what it can do, the human part of cognition (embodied) is something that we must step up to.
Thanks Justin! AI can be a helpful thought partner even for social things. Lately I like talking to ChatGPT as a coach — including to think through how to approach hard convos with real people.
Same, it's great for roleplaying situations as a way to make the convos even better. Are you aware of Sherry Turkle's work?
I'm not — anything you'd recommend to get started?
Recent ish books, Reclaiming Conversation and Alone Together
https://onbeing.org/programs/sherry-turkle-alive-enough-reflecting-on-our-technology/